Now I know

Both naked. No sex.

The girl once again being dumped. Seriously, dumped.
--
*correct me if I am wrong.
I understand why people nowadays their relationship is just come and go. People nowadays, they need fast. So, whenever there's the feeling they will just go with it without consider much as breakup seems to be normal to most of the people. They can just go. I think it is the shape of the current society. You would now feel ashamed whenever you tell people how many ex you have but rather you would feel embarrassed when you have no ex at all.

Most people just do whatever they want and leave no regret.
--
I told myself not to look back but still, I looked back. However, I saw nothing. I have to be strong to accept everything.

No reply.

I don't understand why can't we just continue. How come every ending is the same one? Again and again.

Arrghh!

Are you serious or joking?

Jokes would let you feel humorous and laugh or smile.
Serious would allow people to feel formal and humorless.

I don't get when a person is joking to is serious all the time. I am like, serious all the time and that's why at certain stage of my life people address me 'serious'. Whenever a person told me something I would take it seriously and put it in my heart. I will remember it and wait for it to happen. Anyway, I'm so serious until the extend whenever people don't keeps his or her words I would get disappointed in spite people just talk crap. Disappointments always around me and that's not good for my health. I have to get the joke and just laugh like crazy. I do change but that's outwardly. Just for the purpose of cooperating with friends and families.

People always do not dare or want to close with me because I don't smile and whenever I don't smile, I look angry and fierce and serious. After they know me, they would realize I crazy and funny I would go.
--
She is afraid of rejection. It seems like it is almost the end of the story. Text everyday seems to be boring right? She knew that. It is like a curse. Finding the right one is hard, but even when you met, the time would we totally wrong.

Girl, be strong. You would fine one right one at the right time.

A pair of rough hand

For 20 over years, no one ever hold the rough hands of the girl other than her mother. It would sweats and is seriously rough.

She wishes someday, some one would come and hold it and never let go. It is good there is a guy who hold her hand throughout the way to a certain place. Never has she hold someone's hand for that long especially guy. Later on, the guy kissed on his lips. That's the first time she taste a kiss on the lips. He hold her tight enough to let her feel the sense of protection and blissfulness that she has lost years ago. The night they spend time together without sex.

Let's keep this as a secret.

Same pattern of shirt

Ohmygosh, they were wearing the almost similar t-shirt. It looks like a pair of couple.

She didn't expect that's how the hand was held throughout the movie and it still contained mixture of feelings.

The phobia is still with her. It always there keeps reminding her the incident whenever something similar had triggered her.

Anyway, he is just a good man to her.

Will she once again trusted in love? Let time answer this question. Will she willing to make sacrifice again?
--
Seriously, fannen, where did you get so much of courage to do that?
--
The second paper was just killing and heart attack. I would get stroke any time.

Excitement boost

8 more days would be our 2nd monthsary. Lol. He claimed that the ticket was booked and I have no choice but to go.

I keep telling myself that it is not a date but a casual meet up.

Np doubt, the longest duration (in terms of days) that I have texted is him.
--
Tomorrow would be my final exam for this semester and I have no feeling of anxiety at all. Is it because I have too much of final last time that's why I already used to it or I have no hope anymore? Ha-Ha. Happy-go-lucky! Someone please save me.

All day long what I thought is mostly about sleep. zzZ. I feel sleepy 24/7. Final please end faster.

Missed it

Meaningless morning.
He promised he will talk to me once he was back and he did it. It's been days we did not talk face to face online and the feeling is good. I love it so much yet, I did not tell him. He let me feel the blissfulness that not once people give me. I know it might be short-term however, it's good. I hope there is no love as I don't wanna leave someone I love again. In short, I did not want to take it (bliss) because I don't want to take it for granted or to waste it.

Everything would be different if we meet yesterday.
--
I can't wait to go back and hug my mother and have a good dinner with parent. The best is to meet with brother. We seldom get to chat.
--
Movie that make most people cry.
I do not know people cry because of the sad story or being touched by it.

For me, personally I think that they are both considered very blissful. In term of wealth, they have no financial difficulties. In term of love, they found it. Other than health, they have the basic that most people are still struggling for. Some people don't even have money to go for treatment but they are still able to travel. Without their illnesses, both of them wouldn't meet and they would not cherish the short and meaningful life they have. Life is not promise with no ups and downs. When you are at up, remember to enjoy and treasure because people not always remain at above all the time. When down, remember all the worth-things that you would get when you are at up there, so that you could strive and look up. Do not pity but to see from other perspectives. Outwardly, they might appear awful but inwardly, they have a more beautiful life that you and I might still finding and is beyond our imagination.

Postponed or Cancelled?

I came back with the mix feeling of excited, fear and nervous. No matter how, I have decided then I will take all my courage for that meet up. However, he finds me urgently and I sense something wrong. He never did that before. After settled everything down, I contact him and he told me that he need to help his friend for assignment today. Both he wants to go but come on, you can only appear at a place at one time. When I got the news, my feelings are more complicated. To be happy or to be disappointed? Actually, I am not sad but he keeps saying sorry and he feels bad. Okay, I don't want to be selfish and I asked him to go help his good friend. Girl can be find anywhere but not a good friend. Who am I to disturb other people's life circle? Then he insisted to meet on another Sunday, which I think I am not going to go anymore. He said he would book the ticket regardless how I told him not to do so. I feel helpless and struggle and tears flow. 2 months is neither long nor short. I believe one day we will ignore one another like we never know each other before. So why is he so serious about the meet up. You know the ending would end in that way, but would you still trying all effort to change it?
--
The whole morning is like without purpose. I decided not to go anywhere just for the plan but it was cancelled. Maybe I should start study. Arghh!
--
If today is your last day, what would you do?
We answered many things that we know we should do right now but we didn't because we thought we still have plenty of time for that. There is no 'if'. You know what should you do and you have to do it before it's too late. It would be too late if you were to do on the last day. You wouldn't know when is you last day. Perhaps, the second after this or a few more hours you would have to say bye t this world. Just do the right things as long as it doesn't bring harm.