Recently life has not been that good but it gives me time to think about what's my kind of life's direction. What kind of life suits me and good for me.
I hope I see the life's journey more early, but it's not all too late. It just a little more messed up and gotta deal with it. But it's okay, nothing is too late when you still have your breathes.
--
Recently, mom keeps calling me from time to time and I really appreciate it because she knows I need her. She brought me lots of fruits and homecooked meat (frozen) so I can unfreeze it and eat. Her love for me is overwhelm and I miss her. Thankful for having her in my life. She is the only one who doesn't judge me but constantly concerns me. That's the love of a mother!
--
I know it's pretty hard to find someone who really understands me but I did not dare to ask much for my life as God's grace is sufficient for us.
--
Sooner or later those march makers would come and find me but so far I try to make clear that I'm not ready. I don't care what they trying to do (even out of good heart) they just don't know my story. I'm sorry!
--
My own vacation is coming soon and I don't know how it will goes but for sure I'll be getting fat and I just need to buy some stuff for myself. Just this time, usually I don't simply buy things for myself.
Hope everyone has a nice day!
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Saturday, March 18, 2017
As a failure
Was being scolded yesterday and this afternoon being scolded again.
I know I am annoying and that is why I need to stop talking and just listen. I almost cry but just got to bear with it, you can't just cry in the public (not say cannot but I will try not to).
Well, that got to do with my mood swing. Seriously need to control it.
--
Parents are here but I don't have time for them. Sigh.
--
But thank God, today I realized something that is important where I always neglected. I think once again God had tell me clearly what is the direction that I should walk and leaves no regret in life.
I recently been a bit confused and lost in life because I did not walk my path properly.
No idea what am I writing..
fannen
I know I am annoying and that is why I need to stop talking and just listen. I almost cry but just got to bear with it, you can't just cry in the public (not say cannot but I will try not to).
Well, that got to do with my mood swing. Seriously need to control it.
--
Parents are here but I don't have time for them. Sigh.
--
But thank God, today I realized something that is important where I always neglected. I think once again God had tell me clearly what is the direction that I should walk and leaves no regret in life.
I recently been a bit confused and lost in life because I did not walk my path properly.
No idea what am I writing..
fannen
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Weakest time
Headaches strike me again after just a nap. But still have to get ready for tomorrow's flight.
Well, hope for the very best for my coming training and not to be lazy anymore.
There's a stranger who reminds me that I should have a full-body checkup while my doubt arises at the same time. Am I really ill? It is always a pain on that part of the head and body aches from time to time. Or is it that i did not do any kind of exercise? Well, I will try to do some but I won't go for a check-up. Even though I am not ready for accepting any kind of illness in my body but I always know that I am not that healthy and fit. If I don't live up that long, I hope I can at least do the very best before it ended.
-
The preacher did say about how Abraham, his oldest servant, Isaac, and Rebekah entrusted and submissively accept the arrangement of God in the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). He described how a woman at that time who is a virgin (clean), beautiful (inner and outwardly), and kind from the bottom of the heart (drew water for herself, the oldest servant and the camels, which is not less than 14). How much water does she has to draw for all, that shows how fit she was physical. The preacher said nowadays, girls' room is kinda messy and they are so thin as if the wind can blow them away.
-
Recently, I learned from a girl who is so fervent and I know she prays a lot. The grace of God is bountifully pouring on her. She is just like Rebekah in the bible with a kind heart, fit and beautiful in all ways. It is not comparing who is better but I felt shameful for not able to be the best of me.
-
Many things keep in the heart that makes it so complicated and you hope one day you could truly let it go by cutting it off. I do dislike the way when I am being too emotional. That really kills everything. Anyway, this year I have one resolution that is to be thankful, so I do not wish to complain about life anymore. That has gone too far in the past of all my negativity that has to pull myself to a very low state.
-
Spend the last week with truthful people and enjoy every moment except for the headaches part. Enjoy up to the extend that boss wants to chock me but thankfully I am female (can't call myself girl, lady, or woman).
fannen
Well, hope for the very best for my coming training and not to be lazy anymore.
There's a stranger who reminds me that I should have a full-body checkup while my doubt arises at the same time. Am I really ill? It is always a pain on that part of the head and body aches from time to time. Or is it that i did not do any kind of exercise? Well, I will try to do some but I won't go for a check-up. Even though I am not ready for accepting any kind of illness in my body but I always know that I am not that healthy and fit. If I don't live up that long, I hope I can at least do the very best before it ended.
-
The preacher did say about how Abraham, his oldest servant, Isaac, and Rebekah entrusted and submissively accept the arrangement of God in the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). He described how a woman at that time who is a virgin (clean), beautiful (inner and outwardly), and kind from the bottom of the heart (drew water for herself, the oldest servant and the camels, which is not less than 14). How much water does she has to draw for all, that shows how fit she was physical. The preacher said nowadays, girls' room is kinda messy and they are so thin as if the wind can blow them away.
-
Recently, I learned from a girl who is so fervent and I know she prays a lot. The grace of God is bountifully pouring on her. She is just like Rebekah in the bible with a kind heart, fit and beautiful in all ways. It is not comparing who is better but I felt shameful for not able to be the best of me.
-
Many things keep in the heart that makes it so complicated and you hope one day you could truly let it go by cutting it off. I do dislike the way when I am being too emotional. That really kills everything. Anyway, this year I have one resolution that is to be thankful, so I do not wish to complain about life anymore. That has gone too far in the past of all my negativity that has to pull myself to a very low state.
-
Spend the last week with truthful people and enjoy every moment except for the headaches part. Enjoy up to the extend that boss wants to chock me but thankfully I am female (can't call myself girl, lady, or woman).
fannen
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