Forgetful

It's been a raining morning and it washed the haze away. Haze is back to the city yesterday.
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I am always that forgetful, playful and careless.

sigh!!

Not a good day when boss a bit stern to me. That's because I am wrong, I am too slow in helping him. I feel so down and useless. We are running out of time and I still need him to help me. I feel so bad especially he is not feeling well.

Tomorrow is our Independence Day but I think I should continue to work. I wanted to work now but when it is at night the internet is super slow.

Maybe I should really put in effort and make something works and happens.

I also forget to rely on God.

I am so sorry to everyone. I can't forgive myself.
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When someone asking me about S, I really have no idea what to reply because I really don't know how is he and what's he planning and going to do. All I can is to remain silent.
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I feel so lonely in the city alone. I wish to go back home any time soon but it seems to be impossible :| Missing my family and my hometown.

I need a shoulder to cry.. but I couldn't found any.
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How are you feeling today?


fannen is down.

Contradict

I can't remember when is my favorite weekend. I mean Sunday only because Saturday will be whole day at church. My life is so boring now. Currently feel lonely, because I don't know what can I do.. I just hiding in my own small space, looking at YouTube and scrolling Facebook. I used to go for a walk and meet friends few years back, just hanging around and explore here and there. But, for now, no more..

Wanted to do something but I don't feel like going out.

This whole morning at church and we learned to cook healthy meal with simple and easy steps that makes me happy for a while but I am just too tired. Lol. I got to eat and eat. Help out here and there to makes myself feel busy.

What's your best kind of weekend? Mine is just boring for typical people.

I really admire those that had siblings and friends with them. At least weekend they are able to spend some bonding time. Me? Forget about it. Can't even think of anyone to chat as I know people do have their own families and friends as well.

Maybe it's time to live alone and not to rely on anyone. I am just not good at going out.

Boring blog.

Special day

Someone mentioned to me about special day. I was wondering what's a special day? Anniversary, birthday, festivals, wedding? Which one? Tell me. I think so far I do have special moments but not those that I... Wait, I remember one special occasion where I lay down on a rooftop and many meteors on that night. Hmm.. ya, a special night.

Not much special day for me. Mostly is just ordinary.. maybe because I'm alone? Perhaps.

Okay, I'm trying not to be emo. SMILE!

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Today I saw something but I don't know who to tell or should I tell. I don't like it. But, I don't judge you because I'm more worse. Let's try to be better okay? I know how you feel and I shouldn't let you know my existence. It makes you feel bad. I'm sorry!

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MWW is always that good. I'm so blessed. I couldn't find people who is so hardworking and kind anymore. For real, he is really that good.


I feel so useless today and I'm so careless. Sigh.

I started to miss my family again. I won't be meeting them anytime soon. I can't believe I had stepped into working life for one month. I'm still not productive.

Goodnight.
fannen.

Sense of belonging

Yea, at this hour. Can't fall asleep and I am gonna wake up in few hours.

Did I envy or what? I should say I admire at people who can get back to their home everyday or at least they can get to see their family members everyday. That's makes life easier especially when you get back after whole long day and you can still see people that you love and loves you. You can just share everything that happened on that day, good and bad ones, and get their supports and cares. Rather than coming back and face the four walls. When you sigh, you could hear your echoes of sighing. That's not a good situation, what's more after a tired working day.

I'm trying to be positive in everything but sometimes I just can't. Outwardly I still need to be happy so that people won't ask so much, yea, so fake,

I know that technology makes everything easier where you can say I can use it to connect with my family. However, nothing can be compare with a person physically present. You can get a hug and a pat on shoulder to makes you fell better rather than a single text saying "all the best!".

I don't like this kind of feelings. There's no one to turn to or physically presence so that I could tell him or her something and share everything with. Not to say no one, is yet to found a suitable one. And not everyone is interested in my lame stories. Haha.

Goodnight.

fannen.