Relief

This morning the same feeling stuck me again and I can't even have my breakfast well. But once the training starts I just feel so good because there's only a few people attending and my boss is the one who give training. Funny. So now I feel better but I need to put in extra effort to catch up everything.
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The man of dream appeared again. What I mean is the imagery perfect gentlemen that sometimes I might met in different occasion and they are all not meant for me. Well, this time is slightly different but he really is a good guy that concerns and cares, while less care about own self. Anyway, not mine. LOL!
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Just enjoy this few days of my life. Couldn't be any happier and thankful for this.

Fly Off~

I am just like a little girl with little common sense and no knowledge at all. LOL.

I have been in super stress and nervous state for one whole day until I came back to the sleeping place and had a super nice shower. I can't believe I love here so much and how blissful I am. What is lacking is someone to be side by side always.

Tomorrow I will be attending the training. I pray that I could be able to understand at least a little.

It is good that someone can see through you even though you did not utter a word. I think is better than any psychologist who so called "can read mind" but actually they can't. How blessed is JP. God bless!
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Texted Hopefully tonight can have a good conversation.
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I always point my finger at others while neglected that the other four fingers are pointing at me. Now I realized how God really shows mercy to me and always give me chance to be better. Many things had happened and it takes time for me to digest. Death, sicknesses, interaction issues etc.

How about you? Life is good?

Remain as friend

I know it is easy to make friends but it is rather hard to get a best friend or close friend.

Previously, I used to have few friends and that is why it was harder to get a bestie. As I grow, I found a few friends that I can really be my true self. Sometimes, you would risk this kind of relationship. When you want to go further but maybe the other does not feel that way. Thus, close friend would slowly become friend and later, stranger. I know I have an issue with 'friendship' or any 'relationship'. Once I get close with them I would ended up being total stranger. Maybe is my fate or I just do not know how to handle and the limit. I lose a few closed friends that I really appreciate and longing for because I make mistakes in handling my relationship with them. Misunderstanding and miscommunication are all the factors.

I would just let it be but when I found someone that can really talk with I am really happy. It is like you can really express out your thoughts to someone you trust verbally. Communication is the key but it is a long learning process. Many things still have to learn in life. Just hope that I don't make more mistakes that cause bigger harm.

I am really sorry to you, my close friend.
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Next week;
I am gonna fly to somewhere again. However, I am really nervous and a bit scared.
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How about you?

Waste of time?

I feel like when you really care about a person, you would probably keep mentioning that person and that particular person would not get out of your mind. It is good if that person feel and did it the same way in return. If not, you will probably get hurt easily and feel frustrated when you cannot get what you want (I know that is my emotional management issue). In the end, you will feel that what you did was all a waste and that person would not care but to live a happy life.

Do not waste time on people that does not appreciate you. One day, he or she would understand. Even if nobody knows, God knows. I am not saying to be selfish but once a while, do love and care yourself more.

What I always do is to hide myself in the closed space and keep thinking about negative matters. It will hurts me more and more. Get out of the door, take a walk to get some fresh air or just hang out with friends though you mind is wondering far away. Lol!

Sole

Yea, I still feel here is better.

After-all, I am still alone in this place of living. I urge for a companion but I know I won't get it.

New chapter of life is coming soon.
Found a job but not sure if I am able to make it. Will start to enter into working life next month. A job that I have never learn before in my 4 years of college. Now, everything seems to be so smooth up to the extend that I do not believe in it.

Many people might questioned me of why I did not find a job that is related to my study? Until the extend I also do not know. In the past, I told myself that I would be working in relation to my study but now, everything is so different. Nevermind, I just need to focus on what I am supposed to do and do it the best.

Now spending the very last few weeks with the family. Once I start working, it is gonna be hard to have time with them.

fannen