She widdened my eyes

It's a beautiful and meaningful Sunday!

I shall start straight away from 12 a.m.
I am with the youth "yamcha" (for a drink) at the new McD. It's not near but they choosed to go there for fun. These are all happened at Saturday night after choir practices. When we wanted to go back, the World Cup is just to begin. So, a few of them said let's sit down and have a look for 5 minutes but my group ended up for 20 minutes. Few of them insisted to stay and finished the match until the end.

12 p.m. Visiting.
CR, WC, SN and I went to visit a church friend at her shop. She's selling healthy products and she'll see how your health condition is at that moment. In the meanwhile she helps us to explain and give some tips on how to take care of your body. Then, she baked pizza for us. Yea, pizza is just for tea time so she treated us lunch. Next station is to go to her house and that's the core of the day.

She has gone through a lot in her life. Thus, her experience and perspective is much more far and plentiful than mine. Moving from one place to one place is one of her life "must do things". That's her different jobs requirement. Maybe is because she had encounter many different peoples around the world, thus she is able to read face features and body language well.

She is gifted with creativity, and wisdom. Even though she had no high education background compare to you and I, but she usually works above many people. She taught me that I should appreciate what I had now. Don’t demand for anything as one day, either the things will gone or you yourself died. Making sure that I should wake up early and sleeps early. That’s our body natural needs (organ need rest), don’t gives burden to it. Next is to always remember to keep a clean body. When you’re healthy, it is also a way to be obedient to your parents.

A few of us complain that we can’t have a good sleep in this place yet can sleep well in that place. She and I come to an agreement that it is a mentality issue. If you go to the country that is more worse that they don’t even have a cloth to wear. You would not complain anymore.

In everything, do it with faith. Read the bible and pray every day.

Besides that, her house is very comfy and it is mostly white. The house has a beautiful view and she has telescope.

Of course this is all summarize from her testimony of her life! I really learn a lot from her. If I miss out anything I will add on at another blog.

That’s the reason why I likes to meet different people so that I can learn more from them. Not everyone will go through the same situation but you can take it as reference. Perhaps one day you might face it or your friends. Everyone has their own unique and interesting story of his or her path of life.

Treats everyday as your last day and you will do the best in everyday's life!

How about you?

A short note.

Hey (:

*I see there's an increase in the pageviews almost everyday.

No matter how you come to know and read my blog or just pass by, I would like to say Hi to you!

Doesn't matter what had happened in your life at this moment i just hope that you have a nice day and don't forget to create happiness instead of waiting for it to come into your life. Life is more beautiful than you and i think of.

May God gives you peace in your heart (:

Love,
fannen (:

Hiraeth

I could feel the strong wind passing by and every little and light things in the house were following the wind. Breezing cold. The sounds of papers and plastics flapping had destroyed the silence of the unit.

It's been few weeks there's no falling of water from the sky. Is like the soul of the earth being moisture once again.

I miss dad, mom and bro so much.

Wishing that I would have one day rest so that I can be with them and of course a day break fly to be with you just a little moment. Life is too short..

A few more months would be my final and my learning percentage is like 5% or less than it. I need to catch up.

I smile for you!

I had never been to this frustrated before.

Feeling so weak and sick. Morning with my "sexy" voice I went for lecture. Everyone asking why did I sick so sudden. I don't know. Perhaps I need a full-stop or comma in my life.

I take up too many responsibilities just because I doesn't know how to say "no". Everything arrange in a sequence. Well, even my parents never treat me in this way.

My mind was thinking of finding someone to express out my feeling but I found none. I wish you are here with me, but then you surely will judge and say why I am so immature and it's just a small matter. It is so sad that no one at least could be there, listen to you. God is still the best listener that truly can understand me!

I don't want to have any credits to my work that I had done. However, at least you let me feel the sense of my existence. People just treated me like I am invisible. So, I do so much and you no need at least inform me? I am going to quit! I am not doing much but I have my limit. I AM A HUMAN TOO! You're right, it's an opportunity but I can't carry on. You never know unless you are wearing my shoes. I hope I have a cruel heart and a heart that doesn't care (busybody).

When a community is not of one heart...
I seriously have low motivation to continue. When everyone brings their own motive behind I feel so uncomfortable and fear. It is like hypocrite.
..
Every time when someone wanted to close to me I would put a barrier. When I slowly remove the barrier, then it's the time when that particular person slowly shows me sign of detachment.

I miss you, babe. Yea, our time is so different that you are still living at my yesterday (date). I miss the moment where our time was the same and we get to talk to each other so often. You are the one who treat me so good! Sorry for that, I have been so busy a neglected you.
..
No voice of mine.
I can truly understand how the feeling of someone who is dumb. When I no voice, I can't express what I want and I feel so fed up.
..
When I was queuing for fees payment, a male student came and asked "what are you queuing for?"
I answered "for fees payment".
"Take this number".
"Huh? Oh, okay! Thanks".
He went away, then when I look at the number.. it's my turn!
I immediately ran towards the counter. That guy helps me a lot, without him, I would have to wait for 50-70 peoples to pay their fees before my turn.

I am sick!

It's been years i never sick!!

Lack of sleep and rest and heaty and hazy weather.

I never forget to come up here and have a look. I know we would not appear at there for the same time again! It's impossible. Not really dare to stand there for too long as I am afraid my feeling would come back.

The haze is back. I dislike it. Please stop polluting the air!

When someone ask me you should look for a guy and i answered "I don't need!", people would think i am not available. Lol. And asked am i in a relationship with someone? Please, I don't need = I don't want to get married. Simple. However, I didn't tell them. Let it be (:

Miss him dearly.

I feel my emotional is not stable. Maybe too much of things doesn't went on smoothly. However, I do feel the grace of God in between. He will makes a way, where there seems to be no way!
..
Received a message from brother. He sent me a picture of donuts to show me that he is blessed with sumptuous food. I know he doesn't want us to worry but life there would be very stress. Nothing can replace the empty heart of mine towards this family. I love and miss them. They're so far from me. Father and brother are the man who treated me like their princess.
..
I don't know why I still so concern about you. Out of my conscious you will appear in my mind. It is not as much as before but it gradually become more these few days.

Please find a girlfriend and let my heart die to the end!

Did I heard wrongly?

My busy weekend are still fully schedule until like forever. I am tired physically and mentally. Drenched. Assignment all dead. Midterm, I better close my eyes tightly.

J.CJM is having wedding dinner this week. Gosh! When I heard of it I stunned for few seconds to recall back who is she. I have long time never see her. I feel sad because she is not marrying a guy that has the same faith with her. Seeing people one by one "unofficially" leave.

One of my good sister told me that she wants to get married and settle down. She said she doesn't want to waste time. Life is too short to wait and wait and wait. In the past she doesn't want to get married but now she changed her mind. I am the opposite of her. Last time, I would wish to have a family and lead a blissful life. I am so willing to make sacrifices and everything. After sometimes, after the leftover scars... nothing can change my mind so far. However, I bless every couple to have a blissful life in the future.
..
We are just good friends. I know he cares for me and always compromise me, I really hope he took me as a good friend and I am the one who think too much. I wish he is similar to you. We're just close friend and won't exceed it.
..

These few days I had been chatting with a few guys. They are good... but not for me (statement that I always use). I would thanks them for making me feel the blissfulness once again. Yea, our path in future doesn't meet with one another. Enjoy while you still breathing. It sounds like so sad when someone is so close with you but you both doesn't belong to each other in the end. He is not the one that would hold your hands and walk the path of life together.

After looking at the statistic, there's one reader from Malaysia. Maybe he or she just passed by but I would like to say Hi and Welcome to my blog ((:

7 went, 1 left

Yesterday night everyone in the unit not around. Seven of them went to somewhere nice while i watched Maleficient with 17 children and 2 adults. It's a nice movie. Once i opened the door, there's no single soul. They're still there in one of the club or pub. I didn't know their stories until this morning. One housemate and one roommate drunk and totally out of conscious. They drank five buckets. Wow! Luckily i didn't follow them because i can't drink. 4am only reached unit and i am the one who sleep until without conscious. I didn't know they're back as i am too tired. So, this morning everyone in sleep and i went college alone.

What a day!

It's great to have you!

It's a birthday celebration for my very good male friend. Planning. Surprising. Wishing. Rushing. Laughing. At least he was surprised! In the end everyone group together for games and left me alone. Isolated. I really very tired.

Next it's my turn. I don't wish to have a piece of cake and everyone makes surprised because i know they won't and they can't even remember mine in their hearts even though it is my 21st. For Chinese, 21st is to celebrate it.

After finding so long, yet I still couldn't found one that really... . I gave up! Tired of finding and putting effort on it. Not making any sacrifice anymore.

I only wish you could text me or found someone you love and get married.

#missyouasalways

Where is he?

Does every girl needs to get married?

I do believe in marriage. Happy for those sweet and blissful couple walk into the red carpet and say "I do."

A few years back i make a resolution of not involve myself into marriage. I do not want to take up the responsibility. On the other hand, i know that God has creates man and woman in pair. Everyone will be finding his or her other half and get together to be one. I don't dare to tell my church friends that i am not interest in marriage anymore.

Which girl on this earth does not want to have a man who completely fit them with the good and bad point to be perfect? Those who doesn't might being hurt before or they see the bad side of it. Likewise to me.

Would you be happy when seeing someone you love deeply holding the hand of another out of the church after their marriage's vow? I think I can, but i have yet to reach that stage.

Perfectionist

Few years ago i only realized that i am a perfectionist after a few personality test. Though some of it really general but i had realized.

Then i slowly down graded my standard. I thought i am a person who is very flexible and easy going in the past. However, it is all self-deceit.

Yesterday out of sudden, it came to my mind. I really will angry when people cannot reach my standard. And i don't really like working in a group. As i have my own opinion and when others disagree i would be very frustrated in inner heart. I am a very hard person. Means if you don't follow mine then you go away. Something like that. It's time to change! Thinking back, when i do something i wish i could return and make it perfect without mistake.

It's time to change!

Sorry for didn't update my blog recently! /.\