I'm back

Out of sudden, I have the intention to look back to what I had wrote last time. It was full of memories. Everything had changed so much and now I am having my second internship, which working with special needs children. It is gonna end soon and I bet I would cry, yea, you know I dont like separation. My future work is still in blurry state. I try not to think about it.

D promised to come this month but I think he could not make it anymore and I am leaving next month that is why we might not be able to meet. Well, perhaps, we already used to it. Actually not really, I still in adjusting state (yup, I am slow).

The haze is coming again this few weeks.

So far, even life is not satisfying but I would like to thank God for everything.

I will post a simple picture below (:

fannen

Neglected

Last Saturday I felt that I have spend less time with someone I love. My parents, my brother and my love.

Parents visited me yet, I couldn't find time to spend with them. I'm so useless. It is always hard to me to find a balance these few years.
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Being in long distance relationship is harder than I expect. I hope I can get through this.

Communication, culture, gender and language are all sorts of barriers that hinder me.

I have become someone that is emotional unstable and not able to be so rationale anymore. Hope he can bears with my current state.
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Spend as many times as you can with something or someone that is important to you. Chances are not always there. Once you have missed, it can never be return back.

Leaves no regret!

Reality strikes

Just ended my finals and trip to Ipoh. I was fun trip though. I really enjoyed and managed to meet with my grandma.

I have no idea what to do for my FYP. Finally get to meet my mother. Like finally!! But she's tired.

I miss you.. I'm sorry.

Enjoy the distance.

Technology has draw us more far from each other when we're side by side, while drawing people a far off nearer.

I agree with the first at certain circumstances, while another is kind of not. People wouldn't be more appreciative when they can get connect but rather taking advantage (since there's internet everywhere and anytime, why we need to always keep contact?). That is why I salute and envy my parents' era of writing a letter to each other when they're apart.

After emo and have a deep thought, I shouldn't force or making more extra effort to be near, instead, I shall enjoy the distance we had for each other. Enjoy what I have here, people around me and be loved. I won't request anything more from now on because if people really care, they will find dozens of way to be nearer to me. More like mom and I, we often have random chat through social apps, but just simple and adorable one. When we meet, we will have all long conversation of what had happened when I'm not around and I will tell her about my pathetic life over here. I'm really happy when I see her, because she knows me the most and I don't need to hide anything from her. She's indeed very understanding and kind. I hope brother did that to father too.

I certainly miss a lots of people and of course I still need to live my life over here.

Do give some distance :)

L.O.V.E.

Cried again, ...

Yesterday out of the blue I burst into tears. Pillow absorbed my tears customary.
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We didn't carry on with our daily routine because, I was too distressed.
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April's fool! Our country welcoming GST disappointedly, and we hope it was a joke.

Well, I'm not sure about the April's fool history but today when I looked through FB this morning, many people were make jokes where I feel some are indeed quite ironic.

~will update more later of my thoughts :)

Lazy Sunday

Almost the end of March and my final exam fall on this Friday. Yea, I haven't prepared but I guess I need to start study by today.
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He is getting sweeter. I know that and he can sense my sadness that I hide from him. Bravo. Many peoples have different kinds of dreams and same go to me. I am not a good planner where I prefer random activities. Well, somehow I need preparation but still, that's somehow contradict. Lol. Think about my future, right after one year I would be able to graduate. I'm not sure what am I going to do. Perhaps an police officer at my country's neighbor.
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It's been a long time where my parents, my brother and I gather together. Although only four of us, still we didn't manage to have a meet up. Life is getting harder and I'm lazier and hopeless. Sometimes I have a feeling of missing someone yet, I don't know who and why. And I started to be more emotional unstable and weak. Friends are telling me that I'm not as strong as before. I think I need to be strong back then only I can help more people.

Looking back at my pictures of sun I think by next semester I'm able to take nicer with the new devices.
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Hope everyone have a nice Sunday and find a reason to smile (:

Broken Innerly

These few days I was so fed up and I can't control my emotions. It was so down and I hope someone could drag my up. Yea, he doesn't care but others seems to be more concern of me.
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Love bought me a cute little bear in his own country that cost him much, I guess. It was wearing a cute red dress. I should be happy because that might be considered the first gift he bought for me without me knowing.

He is good but sometimes I don't understand what it is so hard to tell me what he is doing at that moment. I have been spending most of the time waiting for him to text me or call me. But, ended up he either her has something on going or the net was slow at both side. If it is success, I would be less sleeping hours. I shouldn't throw tantrum on him. Yesterday, I let all my schedule off just to make sure I have a proper time or at least half day to be with him online. However, I ended up looking at the phone playing games, watched videos and sleeps. At last, all I got was a text with just sorry for no reply. I planned to have sweet talk but... I wonder it is a way of testing how strong I can be for him?
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I am so homesick, at least my family won't hurt me in that way. They might disappoint me, but they love me most.
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I dislike my degree life and no one seems to be able to stand on my shoes. Never mind, God is watching and He will strengthen me. He will always be there for me.

I apologized that for long time I didn't update y blog and yea, today is International Women's Day (: